Thinking back to the night in which Jesus ate his last supper with his friends, and prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, I am struck most by the humanity of Jesus at this time. Whether one thinks Jesus is/was the Son of God, an inspired man, a moral teacher with no divinity whatsoever - it is his humanity which is most prominent in this stage of his life.
The Gospel accounts of the Last Supper are fairly straightforward. They basically say the essence of what Jesus said and did. Now, this is not a criticism - how do I know what the evangelists were attempting to achieve with their accounts? It is quite possible that they did not intend to offer any more information than the bare essentials.
But when we read these infamous words, do we ever think about what on earth must have gone through Jesus' head on this night? To share bread, saying "Do this in remembrance of me". To talk about himself as a deceased person. To realise what he was going to face. And to point out that one of his friends, the 12 people to whom he was closest in his life (excluding, of course, his family and potentially a few of his other dear friends, female and male), was about to hand him over to be crucified? Did that break his heart? Would he have felt hurt?
Presumably fear struck him; as he prays in the Garden of Gethsemane this becomes evident. He admitted to his friends: ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death...' (Matthew 26:38).
And after this, the one thing he asked of his friends, they let him down in: 'could you not stay awake with me one hour?' (Mt 26:40). It may have seemed a small thing to some: falling asleep when it's late at night and one is exhausted; but Jesus was facing death and at a point like this, with emotions truly heightened, it must have felt as if the people he loved most repeatedly neglected him.
Luke 22:44 suggests that Jesus' sweat became like drops of blood. Jesus is more than aware of what is going to happen to him and he is probably more frightened than ever before. He is about to face public humiliation, torture, excruciating pain and a slow, agonising death.
So what's the point here? The point is that Jesus suffered immensely in the run up to his crucifixion, not just during it. In less than 24 hours he would have experienced hurt, disappointment, fear, anxiety and anguish. Yet he pursued his call to the end and faced what he had to. From this we can take both inspiration and comfort: inspiration to pursue what we believe is right at whatever cost, and comfort in knowing that at those times when we feel low, hurt, betrayed, scared or anxious, Jesus does not simply sympathise or look on from a distance - he empathises, saying "I've been there too".
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